vijara:

sometimes the issue isn’t that people are toxic + need to be cut out of your life. sometimes you’re just giving too much of your time/energy/resources to the wrong people + need to learn how to set healthier boundaries for yourself.

if you’re someone w/ a big heart who takes care of others by willingly giving them your time + support whenever they come to you, it’s really easy to feel drained if they’re not reciprocating that support. when you’re constantly giving but the people you’re giving to aren’t giving back a similar or equal amount, you end up feeling exhausted, upset, and uncared for. (this also can lead into codependency imo b/c you start to think you can “earn” someone’s reciprocation by giving more and more, but it doesn’t work that way + you’ll only end up feeling more drained and desperate.)

some people have things going on in their lives that don’t have anything to do with you. some people genuinely do have good intentions but for whatever personal or circumstantial reasons, they can’t or won’t match the energy you’re giving them right now – doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person or someone you need to cut out of yr life altogether – but you do need to learn how to set boundaries + give less to those people in order to keep yourself happy + healthy. it’s easy to tell who’s willing to meet you halfway + who isn’t if you pay attention to how you feel after being around them.